日志
情系小提琴
||
要谈谈我的信仰，得简要说说我的经历。
我人生的转折点，在于决定弃商而学音乐。尽管父母热爱音乐，能理解我，但还是反对我以音乐为职。从我的家庭背景来看，这也有道理。我祖父在莫比尔的 斯普林希尔学院教了近四十年的音乐课，虽然受到同行们的尊重和爱戴，可薪水刚刚维持整个大家庭的开销。父亲常说：家里还好因祖母精打细算，勤俭节约，才勉 强度日。正因如此，一提到以音乐为生，家人就想起收入不稳，经济拮据的家境。父母不同意我去读音乐院校，坚持让我去念大学，我就这样上了大学——大学生活 挺快乐的，我爱小提琴，把大部分的课余时间用来练琴，还有很多其他的乐趣。
大学还未毕业，家境突然变，更为困难。我深感应为家人分担，所以退学找了份工作，像这样开始职场生涯——不过我始终认为这段工作经历只是虚度光阴。
我无意贬低经商，只是说它不适合我。我做生意只是为了赚钱。除了能为补贴家用而稍感满足以外，我从中得到的仅仅是钱。这样是不够的，感觉没得到生活 的眷顾。一开始只是感觉不满意，后来觉得苦不堪言。我立志只要存够了钱，就辞职去欧洲学习音乐。我常常天一亮就起床拉琴，一直练习到上班前一分钟，才匆匆 忙忙吃几口早饭，惹得可怜的母亲为我不安。中午，我也不和同事们一块儿吃午餐，而是出去找一家廉价的咖啡店，随便吃一点，胡乱编写一些和声练习曲。就这 样，我挣了些钱，一点点积攒起来，足够出国的费用。加上家里境况好转，不需要我的资助后，我就辞职了，感觉自己就像刚从监狱里释放出来，扬帆奔赴欧洲。在 欧洲的四年时间，我比以往想象的都要刻苦，但时时刻刻都觉得很快乐。
“快乐”，这个词太平淡，我就像是漫步云端。过着有意义的生活。我做着一个自由的人，做着自己喜欢的事，走着命中注定的道。
回首往事，如果当时选择继续从商，或许现在生活会比较富足，但却不会是成功的人生。我可能抛弃了那一切无形的东西，那种金钱永远都买不到的心灵的满足。一个人把获取金钱视为主要目标，往往就牺牲掉这种心灵的满足。
当我弃商时，所有的朋友和家人都反对。我们大部分人是如此地习惯于把成功和金钱联系在一起，以至于认为放弃财富而追求信仰简直就是疯子的行为。如果真是这样的话，我只能：嘿，难得糊涂！
钱是好东西，但是人生若只为了金钱，付出的代价太高！
Life in a Violin Case
By Alexander Bloch
In order to tell what I believe, I must briefly sketch something of my personal history.
The turning point of my life was my decision to give up a promising business career and study music. My parents, although sympathetic, and sharing my love of music, disapproved of it as a profession. This was understandable in view of my family background. My grandfather had taught music for nearly forty years at Springhill College in Mobile and, though much beloved and respected in the community, earned barely enough to provide for his large family. My father often said it was only the hardheaded thriftiness of my grandmother that kept the wolf at bay. As a consequence of this example in the family, the very mention of music as profession carried with it a picture of a precarious existence with uncertain financial rewards. My parents insisted upon college instead of a conservatory of music, and to college I went—quite happily, as I remember, for although I loved my violin and spent most of my spare time practicing, I had many other interests.
Before my graduation from Columbia, the family met with severe financial reverses and I felt it my duty to leave college and take a job. Thus was I launched upon a business career—which I always think of as the wasted years.
Now I do not for a moment mean to disparage business. My whole point is that it was not for me. I went into it for money, and aside from the satisfaction of being able to help the family, money is all I got out of it. It was not enough, I felt that life was passing me by. From being merely discontented I became acutely miserable. My one ambition was to save enough to quit and go to Europe to study music. I used to get up at dawn to practice before I left for “downtown,” distracting my poor mother by bolting a hasty breakfast at the last minute. Instead of lunching with my business associates, I would seek out some cheap café, order a meager meal and scribble my harmony exercise. I continued to make money, and finally, bit by bit, accumulated enough to enable me to go abroad. The family being once more solvent, and my help no longer necessary, I resigned from my position and, feeling like a man released from jail, sailed for Europe. I stayed four years, worked harder than I had ever dreamed of working before and enjoyed every minute of it.
“Enjoyed” is too mild a word. I walked on air. I really lived. I was a free man and I was doing what I loved to do and what I was meant to do.
If I had stayed in business I might be a comparatively wealthy man today, but I do not believe I would have made a success of living. I would have given up all those intangibles, those inner satisfactions that money can never buy, and that are too often sacrificed when a man’s primary goal is financial success.
When I broke away from business, it was against the advice of practically all my friends and family. So conditioned are most of us to the association of success with money that the thought of giving up a good salary for an idea seemed little short of insane. If so, all I can say is “Gee, it’s great to be crazy.”
Money is a wonderful thing, but it is possible to pay too high a price for it.
参考：
